Towards 9 months

My parents decided to come to KL to visit us & baby A this week. I've observed that Adam tends to talk/vocalize more when there are more people around him, it's as if he wants to join into our conversations. But yesterday he did one step further, so yes, another milestone. My mum was making funny sounds like 'brruuuttt' (almost like farting) & 'pfft- pfft' kiss sound with her mouth to Adam. Adam started immitating & he could actually master these 2 different sounds & he was really happy he could pick up these 2 new skills ... Then my mum started making a 3rd sound, it sounds 'klok.. klok...' but he couldnt immitate this one. So what he did... he crawled towards my mum who was lying low on the floor, stared closely at my mum's eyes, put his forehead on my mum's head like a bull about to attack,and then he slapped her forehead.. ahahaha! Of course, before and after he had this major grin on his face. This is like major social interaction step he's making. Not only he's immitating, but he interacts by showing his emotion thru physical show towards the other person :).. Few minutes after, he did another approach to my mum, but this time he deliberately landed a 'smooch' on my mum's lips. It's the sweetest thing!

So Adam's first kiss is with his grandMa. Record that son, it's not with some pretty hot chick down the lane that u will meet in 17 years time (or earlier) :D xoxo mum.

Back to Cherating

This weekend was an exciting mini-adventure-trip for our little family & friends. Thanks to my hubby yg udah organize event-nya, ngomporin org2 utk ikutan, nyari penginapan, n ngebook hotelnya, berangkatlah juga kami, 7 pasukan keluarga, sesama 'tki' disini hihihi...

Perjalanan dimulai dengan ngumpul pukul 9 pagi. Ngumpulnya di dpn condo kami karena tempat kami yg paling di ujung utara KL, paling deket ke mulut masuknya highway yg akan diambil. Yang berubah sejak punya anak adalah sekarang gw hampir gak pernah duduk di kursi depan mobil lagi, nemenin si kecil duduk di belakang. Untung ada hiburan lucuk si baby kecil ini, jadinya gak bosen gak liat pemandangan hihihi.

Perjalanan ini pitstopnya di tengah rute, yaitu di Temerloh rest area. Konon yg terkenal di rest area ini adalah sup ikan patin yg dimasak dengan sejenis durian 'tempoyak'. Tapi gw gak suka yah, rada amis gitu nurut gw, jadi andalan lauk cannot-go-wrong gw adalah apalagi klo bukan ayam goreng.

Kami sampai di Cherating sekitar pukul 1 siang. Jadi perjalanan mengambil waktu sekitar 4 jam. Cukup oke lah utk stamina badan. Jalan masuk resort ternyata sama dengan jalan menuju Club Med, resort paling ok daerah situ. Tapi ketika jalan bercabang kecil masuk ke hutan2 dengan jalan kerikil berpasir, itulah jalan yg musti kami ambil hihi. Untung sedan2 masih lewat dengan aman. Nama tempatnya Ruby's Resort dan ternyata kami disambut oleh si Ruby sendiri... seorang srikandi sini yg kesannya tegas dan galak tp sebenarnya ramah. Jadi gw sempet aga terbengong jg wkt kita baru datang dia udah standby di pintu gerbang resort dengan berkacak pinggang dan kaki ngangkang lebar huruf A (kebayang gak sih). Terus gw langsung introduce myself, sementara suami sibuk nyamperin keluarga2 lain di parkiran. Begitu si ibu tau suami gw yg mana, dia langsung teriak2 panggil Chris utk settle the bill dulu *LOL*. Plus ibu ini kayanya kaget temen2 kita banyakan jilbab n dia langsung bilang 'kalian tau kan resort gw pet friendly?'. Ya gw sih gak papa. Ternyata banyak doggy & doggy lovers di resort ini sodara2. jadi tiap kabin/kamar ada balkon berpagar di depannya utk anjing2 tamu 'parkir' disitu.

Resortnya sendiri sederhana tapi bersih (well, unit kita baru banget, abis direnov kayanya), n ada tempat2 barbeque n tree house. Pantainya i must say probably best spot in Cherating, sebelahan sama club med gitu loh. Pasirnya alus banget, tempat penyu2 merapat ke daratan utk bertelur di malam hari. Pantai nya tenang, klo soal jernih sih gak sekelas sama nusa2 or gili, tp bersih.

Pukul 3 pada berangkat lunch break (one thing i didnt like about this trip, or probably the only thing i didnt like abt this trip is the weird lunch hour). Jam segini resto jg udah tinggal sisa2 kan makananannya. Anyway balik2.. Adam ngegelendot tidur n lama pulak, gw jg nemenin secara gw nya jg cape dah berapa hari kurang tidur. Sementara yg laen2 pada berenang di pantai.. hix ngiri. Untung terbalas di esok harinya.

Malamnya kami bbq di dekat tree house. Adam awalnya gak comfort ditaruh di atas tikar di atas rumput, untung lama2 biasa. Gak terasa udah msk jam 10 mlm, Adam udah mulai rewel banget secara udah jauh lewat wkt tidur dia. Mlmnya dia rada cranky krn kecapean. Oh well.






Pagi2 kami tanpa dikomando ketemuan di pantai, nikmatin udara pagi, terus makan pagi, n abis itu Adam diajak nyebur sama bapaknya. Lama jg loh, ada kali 1/2 jam di dlm air, padahal Adam blm dipakein sunblock. Alhasil keluar2 dia udah lebih item 2 shade dari sebelumnya hihii. Sebenarnya Adam jg udah 1 minggu batuk2.. jadi hari itu dia jadi tambah beler ajah. Cuma untungnya anaknya gak rewel sih. (Update: Sembuh stelah 2 malam terapi tidur malem gak pake AC).

Di perjalanan pulang siangnya... (kami cuma nginap semalam) Adam tidur sepanjang trip. Tekor kali ya doi, secara mlm sebelumnya kurang tidur n paginya cape berenang. Minum ASInya banyak, cuma gw seneng dia minum banyak secara takut dia dehidrasi kepanasan itu loh. Dia cuma kebangun pas mobilnya slow down, tp giliran tancap gas lagi, dia tertidur lagi...

Overall, we had so much fun. Ini trip pertama yg berasa vacation trip bareng Adam, alias kita pergi ke suatu tempat cuma utk do nothing/have good fun. Trips2 sebelumnya biasanya banyak 'mata pedangnya' entah sambil shopping or culinary trip dst. Tapi kali ini kt ke Cherating, cuma utk having fun di pantai n bbq di area hotel. Bener2 bukan tipe vacation kita waktu dulu msh ber2 doang, klo pergi ke suatu tempat, pasti sebanyak mgkn tempat dijajal hihih. These are some of the things that change in our life, but we love it :)

ps: oyah, judulnya back to Cherating, krn we are 99% positive Adam was conceived there :)

Hello, I have grown! (7mw3)

Hello world,

I am going to be 8 months soon. These past 2 weeks, I have given my parents some little surprises:

- I gave them a hard night once, but the next day my 2 lower teeth showed up :)

- I can sit up with my back straight

- I can prop myself up to standing position as long as I got something to hold on to :) I really like to do this especially when I'm in my crib.
- I have started to do proper crawling (lifting my tummy up). I can do 5 steps like that, and then I'll go back to  locomoting ("merayap"). It is quite tiring to do proper crawling :)
 - I have learnt new syllables.. "yeay" and "chacha"... on top of my "mamamama..", "dadaa", "hey..." and so on :)
- I still dislike avocado but my mum keeps giving it to me, Mum says it's good for the brain and the body fat :) Ok, I will eat it but pls mix it with my other favourite food, like rice or banana :)

I don't know what new things I will learn in the coming month, but stay tuned, I will surprise my pa&ma again :)

7m2w

My boy can sit up straight now (since 2 days ago). Oooo he's growing fast :D

A thought on educating

I am copy & paste-ing this interesting article from www.kiasuparents.com (Yeah i know, the kiasu-ness of my teenage years in SG still linger on my skin ;) ). Since my boy is still really small, of course there are many other things that preoccupy my mind on how to raise him. Right now, it's more on ensuring he's growing healthily. But came across the below writing by 'chenonceau', quite an eye-opener i must say. Never really thought of teaching a kid the skills of learning, ie. learning how to learn, rather than learning the subject/object itself. http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/adapt-your-parenting-style-your-childs-growing-needs

ps: The reason i copy paste fully and not just the link is just in case the article disappears from the website itself.

Adapt Your Parenting Style To Your Child's Growing Needs

See Also: 

 Forum Thread

I am not weighing in on the debate Pro-Drilling or Against-Drilling. Because, I do both depending on the situation. I rather suspect that most Mommies here do too. We all do a bit of both I think. I am also not telling other mommies/daddies what best they should do because I am not in their situation.

I went and dug out The Daughter's report book. Here is my story.

The Daughter scored 79 for English, 88 for Math in P1. She placed in the bottom 25% of her YEAR. However, in P1 she scored 99% for Chinese because Grandma plied her with assessment books. Little Boy's grades followed the same pattern.

English, Math and Science were my subjects to coach. Chinese was Grandma's. We took very different approaches. I looked past the grades in P1 & P2 for both my kids. In P1 & P2 my objectives were (1) they get used to school, (2) they adapt well socially, (3) they learn basic self-management skills, (4) the kinda keep up, (5) they like learning (6) they understand the value of diligence and discipline, and (7) they take full ownership of their studies.

These were all specific qualitative aims I had in mind. Not quantifiable but I wanted to focus on laying this foundation so that I would have a strong foundation of work ethic and self-management skills to build on in Upper Primary.

P1 & P2: Foundational Study Skills

I expected my kids to pack their bags, take notes, keep track of homework etc... That's tough you know for the little ones. So many times, they forgot their books. My son lost his exam schedule and I didn't help him get another. For 3 weeks, he went to school with his transparent exam pencil box because we didn't know when exactly his exams where and which day was what exam.

How to get good grades like that?

Nonetheless, whilst they were thus struggling, I was always warm and supportive ... and I gave a lot of loving advice. Next time, you need to remember this and that and the other. I had high expectations (about specific behaviors, not grades) but I tried not to help. I didn't gloat or say "Hah! You deserved it!" That's very mean and discouraging. Every boo boo was an opportunity to talk about how my child could manage himself better.

I gave very little drills at this stage. If they remembered to do their homework, I was happy. My kids "failed" at this stage but neither really failed as in score below 50. I did not allow that to happen. Their lowest grades were still 70+. I reckoned that that was what I could live with... believing that catch up was imminently possible from a 70s range.

P3 & P4: Transiting From Skills Focus to Grades Focus

By P3, they pretty much got the hang of the skills required to keep one's head afloat in school. They took notes, their bags were neat and they owned their study process completely because whilst I was encouraging and free with my advice, I tried not to help too much. So, about P3, I began to set grade goals (90+ for every subject).

At first, neither kid believed they were capable (since neither had ever scored in that range before except for Chinese), but I told them that I knew they could do it.

I began to PROPOSE drills, and because both are close to me, they do bend to my wishes even when gently proposed. Mostly I gave them past year exams from other schools. I planned the schedule and checked in every weekend to see if everything was done, and done well. At this stage, I was still refining study skills. I wanted to see careful work, good handwriting... I was less fussy about grades than I was about general work quality. I threw absolute hissy fits when work was shoddy and careless, but looked past genuine errors and absolute scores.

By end-P4, they were hitting the 90s in English, Math and Science. Strangely though, their Chinese grades dropped to the 80s. I kept telling Grandma that the way she taught the children Chinese made them feel like they didn't own the process. When they did well in Chinese, Grandma felt proud that she was a good teacher and hardworking too and conscientious. But my kids felt dispossessed of their glory. Their Chinese marks belonged to Grandma. Also, as you move into P4, the syllabus changes. Whether Chinese, English, Science or Math, the kids nowadays are no longer tested what is in the textbook.

By P3 & P4, kids are tested OUTSIDE of what is stated in the textbook. Grandma was still drilling textbook material. To score in the 90s for Science, Little Boy had to do independent internet Science research! We constructed Powerpoint slides, put him in a Professor's geeky glasses and made him present his findings. To score in the 90s for English, we were reading tons of storybooks and practising how to create metaphors, analogies and alliterative effects (e.g., Pretty Puddle of Pungent Poo). We read poetry. Basically, there was no way to drill our way to success because there was no way to predict what would be tested. Anything could be tested, and so I took a blunderbuss approach - LEARN EVERYTHING INTERESTING and HAVE FUN. Look at what teacher taught, ask questions of yourself and look for the answers on your own. Never mind if not in syllabus. You learn more and you won't die, and you'll have fun.

"The grades will come" I promised them. Back then, it was me putting on a brave front and being a brave mother so that my children would have the strength to carry on and keep trying. I couldn't tell them I didn't believe in them. In this way, I concur with Amy Chua... the best thing you can do for your child is to believe in him.

Meanwhile, Grandma went on drilling from the textbook. And whatever I said to her, she wouldn't budge from her time-tested method. She had been a Chinese Teacher in the past and had tutored even Mrs Carmee Lim's daughters (ex-Principal of RGS). She thought she knew best but her methods were outdated and designed for a syllabus and an approach that was past.

P5 & P6: ABSOLUTE Grade Focus

In P5 and P6, I became Tiger Mother. The Daughter came home one day in P6 and waved a Science paper scored 98% in my face. I said "It was an easy exam. The PSLE won't be this easy." The Daughter has never forgotten that scathing comment.

I reckoned that by P5 & P6, my kids had amassed enough resilience and process skills to take some knocks and I did knock them about, though never as hard as what Amy Chua seems to have done.

Starting P5, there was a consistent practice schedule which intensified as we moved into the 2nd quarter of P6. I devised the schedule collaboratively with my kids and I was sensitive to their mental and physical states. I had no qualms about deleting work if I thought it was too much. I wanted to manage my kids energy levels. Must always have time to recharge even if grades suffered meantime. The rule in the house is to NEVER TOUCH BOOKS 3 days before and exam paper. And I made sure I allocated whole days or whole weeks of NO BOOKS so that they could play to their hearts' content.

There was a constant process of watching and adjusting. There was a lot of trust and dialogue. I worked them hard but I made sure that I was there to encourage and listen to their problems. But they still owned their study process. I proposed a work schedule and they decided if they could manage. More often than not, they would ADD in stuff and tell me "Mommy, I can try." They knew that the PSLE was an important exam.

I also built in a natural reward into the work schedule. If they somehow did their work fast and well, they had that extra time to play. I never gave more work when they finished theirs earlier than I had expected. And whenever I could, and they had finished earlier than expected, I would take time off work to play with them. Go somewhere they wanna go... do something they like... together.

Results

The Daughter placed consistently in the top 3 places from P5 to Sec 2. In Sec 3, she was handpicked for an accelerated program where the others were smarter and just as driven as she. To keep up, she really pushed herself. End Sec 3, she was in hospital with pneumonia, a result of 2 months of flu and insufficient rest. She was so motivated that it had become a problem. I went to school and got an exemption for one month of homework... plus I locked up her laptop. She vegetated at home that month.

Little Boy is now in P5. He looks at the work schedule that we worked out and if I decide to delete an item, he will say "Leave it in Mom. I will try."

Unfortunately, The Daughter's Chinese marks at 'O' levels went down to the 50s. She hated Chinese and rebelled completely against Grandma's micro-managing ways. Little Boy's Chinese dropped to 79 for the first time in end-P4. So, I've taken over Chinese from Grandma too... and I'm doing it my way now. Read a lot, have a lotta fun, and to hell with textbook. I will be introducing exam practices later in the year however. Learn and have fun first. Drill later.

Both drill and no-drill are important to me.

My Objective

I don't need my kids to be the best in class... but I want them to be the best they can be. If what they can be is 80+, then fine... and seriously, The Daughter's class now is full of people who are so smart she and I feel stupid. That's fine. We're not as smart. And we don't need to be.

She got where she was not because she was smart, but because she was motivated. Motivation can get a child farther than a parent's best wishes and most beautiful dreams. The Daughter is no longer at the top of her class anymore, but that is fine because I know she has reached her potential and maybe even a little beyond. The same with Little Boy. I know he can manage 90+ in every subject if he wants to. Even Chinese.

The trick is to make them want to. And the first step is to turn the ownership of the study process over to them... and make them own it. This should be done early enough (I think). I have just sacked Grandma and turned the ownership of Chinese over to Little Boy. He used to roll his eyes when Grandma complained he was slow. Today, in the car, he said "Mom, I have a problem. I am slow in my compo. Others have done 1.5 pages, I've only done 1."

He now owns his problem and I play the familar supportive role "Oh never mind... you keep on reading those books and one day, the grades will come. I promise" and I look at him with a confident smile. This way, he will keep on trying... and he will end up where he ends up in Chinese. And I will still be happy even if it isn't 90+.

Not the Only Approach

I consciously took an approach where I focused first on Foundational Study Skills to the detriment of grades. It worked for me. I am sure there are other parents who focused on both at the same time quite successfully. I am sharing my story because it isn't a usual approach, but it worked for me.

7.5 Months

The tooth eruption happened! Teeth actually. The boy was so fussy for one night, woke up 3 or 4 times in the night. I even had to move to another bedroom to steal some sleep time for myself, otherwise there will be one more cranky person in the house ;p. And now we can see a little bit of his 2 lower front teeth now. No wonder for a few days beforehand he was also quite choosy with his solids, he only wanted to eat really soft food (ie. i had to sieve the food thru a mesh) , when usually he could settle for mashed fruit.

Now he's back to his normal wake-up-once-a-night cycle (cross finger) & he can eat back the rougher solid. I even tried to 'upgrade' the texture of his food. Made him some rice porridge with chicken broth. I thought if he didnt like it it would just mean he's not ready & I will defer it for next time, but hey... what do i know... the boy is gulping it happily just like any other food. Today i added grated chicken meat into the porridge, he really enjoyed it :) I add 'serai' & 'daun salam' into it, cooked it for 5 hours in the slow-cooker, and voila.. it smells so good! Serve it for my boy with a cube of pumpkin puree + home-made chicken stock, yummy!

intermezzo :)

7 Months

Seperti yang dirasakan setiap ibu, gak kerasa waktu berlalu! Baby A sudah 7 bulan 2 hari sekarang! We like to call him Big Baby now... 'cause so different from his helpless small state of being few months ago, when he's still tiny and so dependent on us. He is still such a joy to us of course. Throws the warmest smile, gets excited when we carry him around, dancing to the music or just going out of the house. Still loves to chirp around in the pool (unfortunately we the parents have not been so diligent in bringing him swimming). Still puts everything into his mouth (tissue paper and newspaper have been victimized). Does not like to eat roughly cut stuff, still likes it smooth. Moves around fast, starts to climb (over our body, pillows etc). Gains better control of his hands and fingers. Good job my boy! You are growing well & heathily & happily, we cannot ask for more!

Another thing that happened this month, is we shifted to another unit in our condo block. So fortunate to have found this unit in such a short time. It's a tad bigger, got 1 more room (for our helper), kitchen & living room & balcony bigger, and most importantly this place is somehow more homey. Love the new place. Here is Big Baby new crib corner.

Fly high to the sky!

One fine saturday n Adam's adventure with food

Setelah hari-hari kerja gak bisa seharian di rumah, akhirnya tiba juga hari Sabtu... full day with my kid, enough to make me feel a happy mum :)
cape sih seharian nemenin anak kecil yg aktif n gak mau ditinggal main sendirian, tapi seneng :D
Apalagi Adam sekarang semakin komunikatif, semakin seru klo nemenin dia main bareng. Sekarang dia udah lancar banget ngerayap kemana2. Udah mampir ke dapur, 'ndesel' ke bawah meja n kursi makan, ngerayap ngejar gw (yg dengan senang hati gw tunggu dgn tangan terbuka lebar siap meluk dia :) ). Suami gw bilang, 'sekalian aja taro kain pel di bawah perut dia biar bantu2 bersihin rumah' hihihi... Iya dia tuh ngerayapnya blm bisa smbl angkat perut/badan ke atas, tp tetep aja kenceng bergerak kemana-mana.

Soal makanan, hari ini iseng nyobain 'baby led weaning', alias ngasi makanan non-pure yg bisa dia pegang n taro ke mulut sendiri. Mumpung emak-bapaknya lagi tumben2nya makan bareng di meja makan (biasanya di sofa hihi) kita taro dia di high-chair dia (yg masih rada kegedean, jadi kita ganjel sama selimut dia), terus setelah berdoa bareng (perdana nih berdoa ber3 utk makan hihihi) gw kasi 2 potongan panjang pepaya di tray dia. Bener aja, dia pegang2 n dia masuk2in ke mulut. Ada yg patah n jatuh2 kemana2 sih secara licin, tapi ada jg yg sukses tergigit masuk ke mulut dia. Emang beneran bisa ya ternyata bayi dikasi makanan gini. Aga deg2an jg awalnya, takut klo keselek, tp pepayanya kebetulan emang udah mateng banget, jadi soft banget n gw jg udah sempet perhatiin dia bisa keluarin lagi bagian makanan yg terlalu besar buat dia telan. Kebetulan dia juga masih dlm fase oral juga, dimana apapun yang berhasil dia pegang akan dia bawa ke dalam mulut hihi.

I love my little son. Ini rekaman dia makan gasol/tepung beras merah perdana 1.5 minggu lalu. Maafkan suara suami gw yg bawel  dan sudut pengambilan gambar yg kurang profesional :)